A little better

***********Stretches*******
I just woke up from a cat nap :)

Today was a little bit better today .
Work was smooth, but i realize I get called out on things i dont even do cuz there too
scared to call Mrs. Perfect out on her mistakes. I have no clue why. I am growing tired of it. HOWEVER!!! hours got changed, was super nervous but great news I got some hours back! yay!!!!!

P.s
Deart kittykat hat I miss u!

Meow

Hmm

Thinking.............................................



                                                      
 I should probably stop doing that...........................

The real me

I want to be me so bad, but I feel like I am being held back.
Like I am being censored. Slowly but surely the real me is creeping up. I wish it was quicker.
I want to color my hair get a few more piercings and start up my ink obsession. Please please pleaseeeeee I feel me trying to break out!
Life yet again proves it will never be fair! haha

This too shall pass.............

Confrontations

Kind of hard to trust when I accidentally came across something. Not shocked nor mad but when Stuff goes on I cant help but think bad things.

Gah! I need a Massage! a nice deeep back massage.

Threesomes

I get the concept, I understand why every guy wants it. But dont make your woman feel not good enough or worthless.
It tears us apart inside. Unless we are 100% into it. I have tried but I cant get myself to share.
and another thing, how can you ask for one and not give ur wife/gf one . I am not saying i want two guys pounding into to me at the same time but just think about it. How hypocritical is that! haha . This blog made me smile. Haven't smiled in awhile.



This too shall pass................Meow

Debbie downer

It's kind of official,
I have no friends. I lost all my best friends. Yes even my online ones.
It's not them I dont blame them at all. I am such a boring person.  I really think I am
Everyone has busy lives. Me? I just work, come home, clean if I have energy and attend to my kid.
I hardly ever have money to do anything with anyone.

Today has just been a long sad day. Things are happening in my life and I have no one NO ONE to talk to anymore. So I am back to keeping it all in. It's too late to even start a new friendship and let it grow. No one would understand my story, what i have gone thru. My "Friends" tell me there here for me . It's just a bunch of hot air really. I am not worth the time or love.

I know life is never fair. But seriously the last few months have been more unfair then usual. I wish i could vent to someone about it. Ugh so lonely in the friendship department,
At least some of my family still likes me. My cousin and his girl is coming over for dinner that I really hope i can afford to make.

I am so happy tomorrow is last day of work for the week.Works been good to me but im so drained and ready to sleep in hehe.


Ive chosen my life and thats that. I am thankful for my life and the two people who are in it but I am ready to move on . Its tiring watching everyone progress and just sitting there living each day the same way.
I Just pray God brings one person into my life that actually wants to hang out with me who actually wants to take the time and work on our friendship.

I know i dont have any followers but if you actually read this thank you for listening :)

Mystery man

I woke up this morning emotional. I had an amazing dream. Not only did it feel real but it left me with questions.
Lately I have been having an itch to write. But being me I put myself down. I think to myself that I need to really take a writing corse in college and I will soon as I can enroll.I love school and I love learning new things!
Anyways the dream was colorful and magical if you will. Not to mention I was a total bad ass.
There was this guy that I fell in love for instantly. This man wasn't your everyday average, he was someone thats hard to explain but I will try. "People" say that everyone who you see in your dream you have seen before in real life, I agree with that statement to a point. This man I know I would have remember ever seeing.
The other day someone asked me who my type was, I couldn't really give that person an answer. Dumbfounded, they gave me another option. They asked which celebrity did I find hot? Stumped again I couldnt give them an answer. We laughed and went onto the next subject. Later on as the weeks pass on this question has got me thinking. I know I am married and my husband should be my type. Well he is...to an extent. There is so much more. I married him at age 19, not knowing anything else. As we grow we learn and change.
Back to the dream, this man was everything I love that made him a man, if that makes sense. Let me explain, he was tall and muscles hugged every inch of his body, but it was just right he could still wrap his arms around you. He had dark hair and light brown skin some parts of his body was covered in tattoos. His personality was sweet and charming but still had the mean rugged edge towards others, and not in a disrespectful way. I just wish I could explain him better then what I am trying to paint!

What I dont understand is why did this "dream guy" make such an impact in me? Why do I find my self reliving this dream over and over until i start to forget? Now i am not thinking of him in a way I wish he was alive and we were together. I am thinking more of how can i fit him into a book that I have brainstormed into writting. He isn't my average leading role in a dream he was 100% different.  The dream is super difficult to explain. Maybe God will guide my thoughts into words to write down and form into what I have been itching to write.
I love dreaming. Sometimes I just wish I could stay there Just a little bit longer or somehow continue it the next time my eyes close.
Dear mystery man, I will find you and I will bring you to life!

Tired

I am tired, drained, fustrated.
My family can be over sensitive.
My sister for starters. Oh boy where should I start. She has issuses!
She blames my mom for everything wrong with her and her life and talks bad about her as soon as the chance is given!
Lazy, sleeps all day and is obsessed with a online game called second life.

My mom, i love her to the moon and back. But I know im not her favorite and I will never be. Not only do I know but sometimes she makes it known. I do everything she asks no problem. But the one time i got upset about watching my uncle once! she got all hurt about it and became a drama queen. I apologised right away but she drug it out.

Last night we had to put my kittty down (the one who lived at the office) was so sad. Yes i sobbed tremendously! He started having tremors and had unexpected aggression , drooling and panting. His blood work was perfect. I wish I knew what was wrong so we could have helped him. I miss him so much already.

On a brighter note! Tomorrow is a semi family reunion! My cousin is having a baby shower and I am getting my lazy ass up and going!!!