Dreams ......
My dreams seem so far far away. I am getting older by the second. I want more kids. Everyone around me seems to be pregnant. I feel like I will never have the chance for a long time. I work fulltime to have another would mean me be an at home mom [anotherdream] but that doesnt seem to be happening anytime soon either. Ive worked my ass off since 2005. My other half well hes jumped from job to job and decided instead of "helping" me out take out a loan and go to school. I hate that now we owe money soon as he graduates. I am trying to have faith In his career choice, but everything he has started has never been finished.
I'm trying to be the good wife. It's hard. I'm running down to the core. I'm tired. He knows all this, but it's not enough to push him. He tells me he appreciates me but in this case actions do speak louder then words....I don't feel it at all. Hes on his computer all day and night. Sure hell get off when I need him but...there isn't even romance anymore. When I tell him ths place is hiring all I hear is an excuse to why he can't work there. Enough already be a man. This is not how I imagined my life to be. Most of its my fault. I let "Love" soften me. I let him walk all over me. I bent over backwards for him. I became his "servant". When will I be me ? I get so scared of standing up for myself. I'm the kind of girl who hates confrontations.
Marriage means sacrifices I know this but to what extent? I have put so much to the side for everyone. If it weren't for God I wouldn't have my babygirl.
Dream
1. Be an at home mommy
2. Have at least 2 more kids
3. Be a professional Photographer
4. Be romantically Loved
