New Day

Tomorrow Is a new day!
I really am motivated and I really want to lose this bellly That I have
so I am cutting down on portions I eat and excersising!Almost every night!

I really want to do this. I want to make my husband proud of me and wear cute clothes.

I don't want to embarass my daughter when she gets older and I do want to be healthy as

I get older. Lets see how this goes. I am over being lazy, I am also going to keep up with my

photography blog I have to!

Wish me luck!

Now that the day is ending

After my last rant,
I have been feeling a lot better I just needed a way to scream and get food in my belly
I always broke into my emergency stash of monsters hehe.

still hate myself

It's Just me

I Officially hate me. Nothing I do or say is ever right. I am always irritating the person I am with
I can't even stand me anymore. I just want to be lonely the rest of my life!
Thats why God hasnt taken me to heaven yet. Cuz all I will do is just irritate him more!
It all makes sense
I know I have said it many times before but this time I mean it. No more joking around I am shutting down
Keeping to myself. The only person whose going to see the real me is my daughter. Im so serious right now

I HATE ME MYSELF AND I!

Moments like this....

Suck! I feel so worthless and boring. I don't Know why i am here!!

I hate that I feel like this often. I have no clue why. And when I do I shut down
I become quite and all I want to do is be alone.
Everyday I am homesick. I thought after 3 yrs being away from my parents
I would get use to it but yet I sit here and miss my family more and more.

Just maybe

Maybe I do need therapy.....

Least then I will have someone to talk to......

Must be nice

To be my friend but to text my husband to see what he is up to. Hi remember me? we were friends first. It's ok you probably just needed a reminder. No problem I have other friends who want to talk to me.....but they probably forgot too. No don't worry about it. I am good on my own.

Funny thing is he hates texting, well he use to. but now he seems to be doing it more often then usual. Lovely

Confusion

I really don't know anymore.
My life is so confusing. I am happy but depression always seems to sneak in and comfort me like a blanket on a cold rainy day.
I honestly don't know who my real friends are. I really don't. They seem to really like my husband a lot more.

I know I am boring. But oddly enough I would hang out with myself.
There is so much i want to do looks wise but I can only go so far. I am always censored.

Most days I feel like I can't do anything right at all.
No matter how hard I work I am still struggling. I am still behind on my bills.
Life is so fustrating, confusing....hard.

I wish i was a better person. I could be a better person but my motivation only lasts a week if so.

UGH! i hate my lap top! i miss having a computer!

I dont know if its hormones but i am fustrated and sad, I just want to cry!